This week in Literacy we have been
reading and retelling a short story called 'Kidnapped' by Pie Corbett.
Somebody
was coming up the stairs! Ducking down behind an old crate, we waited. I could
feel my heart thumping like a bass drum and my throat felt tight and dry with
dust…and the crush of fear. What if we were caught? The strange girl glanced at
me through the semi-gloom and grinned. I thought that she was trying to be
reassuring.
Gradually,
the door opened and we could hear someone tiptoeing in. There was a pause and
then a torch flickered on. Its beam stabbed the darkness, seeking us out,
nosing into all the hidden corners. Holding my breath, I tried to make myself
as small as possible. After a few moments, the light switched off. Whoever it
wasstood quite still, listening. We could hear each rasping breath. Then the
door shut and the footsteps clicked back down the stairs. Relieved, I let out a
sigh. As we clambered out of the window and slithered down the wet roof, I was
trying to remember how I had got into such a mess.
It had
only been half an hour ago when Mum had sent me down to the chippie with a
tenner and strict orders for no vinegar on her chips. When I reached the Stroud
roundabout, I couldn’t help looking at the old house. It was ready for
demolition, which was a shame because we had played there for years! It was
then that I’d seen it; a light at the window. Then I saw a face. I stood there
staring. It was a girl, mouthing a word and the word was, ‘HELP’.
That’s
how it happened. I’d broken in round the back through a smashed window. Half a
minute later and I’d found her, a trapped prisoner in an upstairs room. She’d
only just finished telling me that she was the American ambassador’s daughter,
Cindy Breakwell, and about the ransom money when the kidnappers had returned to
move her to a safe house.
So
there we were, balancing on the wall, as if we were walking the plank. Gripping
the guttering tightly, I lowered myself down. Five minutes later and we were back
at Mum’s. “So Ron, where’s the fish and chips?” she asked, eyeing Cindy
suspiciously.
Half
an hour after that, Cindy’s Dad arrived in an embassy car. All the net curtains
on the St Petroc’s estate started to twitch with curiosity. That night it
wasn’t just chips for tea. He took us all out for a big meal. Amazingly, the
next day, there I was in the local paper. A hero.
Can you
retell the story in your own words? Challenge - Try to retell it in 100 words.
As the kidnapper came up the stairs with a torch, searching for us, we hid behind a crate. Then we climbed down the drains frantically and escaped.
ReplyDeleteEarlier that day, my mum had sent me to the Chippie, and on reaching the old house ready for demolition, I felt sad when good memories of playing there flooded my mind. Suddenly I saw a girl inside mouthing the word ‘HELP!’ I went in through a window and rescued her.
She was Cindy, the American Ambassador’s daughter and her dad took us out for a meal. The next day I was a hero in the Newspaper!
Mum sent me out to get fish and chips for tea. When I was out I looked up at the abandoned house. I was surprised to see a girl at a window calling for help. I broke into the house and found out that she was called Cindy and she had been kidnapped. We had to hide behind a crate when a kidnapper came in but when he was gone we escaped out the window. We ran all the way to my house. At last we were safe. Cindy’s dad rewarded Mum and me with tea. I was a hero.
ReplyDeleteEsme
Kidnapped
ReplyDeleteThe door opened, I felt scared, I saw a shadow in the darkness. A flash of a torch shined at me suspiciously. I blinked once more and then I saw that there was a girl right in the corner.
I had suddenly remembered that before, Mum had given me orders that were to go to the Chippy and buy some fish and chips. I was skipping along joyfully but I could not stop staring at the Antique, old house which reminded me of my childhood memories when I used to play there. The reason I couldn’t continue my way to the Chippy was because I saw a girl shouting for “HELP!” Anyway, when I reached her she told me that she was the American ambassador’s daughter, Cindy Breakwell. We both escaped through the window and ran as fast as we could back to Mum’s house (where we were safe) and rested for a while. Half an hour later Cindy’s dad arrived in an embassy car. He took us to a restaurant delightfully before leaving. The next day I was in the local newspaper, a hero.
Someone was coming up the stairs.So we quickly hid behind the old crate.
ReplyDeleteSlowly the door opened and in a flash a light flicked on.
My heart was beating as fast as a Cheetah.
Since the kidnapper could`t see anybody the kidnapper went back down the stairs.
It was half an hour ago when mum sent me to the Chippie with a tenner,
but when I got to Strode Roundabout I could`t help looking at the antique old house.
When I was thinking of the past when we used to play but now it`s time for demolition,as was about to go something caught my eye it was a girl she was mouthing a word and the word was "HELP".
5 minute later we arrived at mums she asked where her Fish and Chips are looking
suspiciously at Cindy.Few minutes later Cindy`s dad arrived in a embassy car and that night it was`t just fish and chips Cindy`s dad took us to a big meal.
The next day there I was in the local paper a HERO!!
a mysterios person was creaping up the stairs i quickly hid behind the old rusty crate the squeaky door opened suddenly a torch light flickered on he stood as still as a stiff rock since he didnt see anyone the suspiocus man want down the creeky stairs.
ReplyDeleteit had only been half an hour ago when mum sent me to the chippie with e tenner but when i got to the struod roundabout i couldnt help looking at the old mansion like house it was ready for demolison it was very upseting because I had played there for yearsthen something caught my eye it was a girl she was mouthing a word and the world was help we climbed out of the window and went home
mu asked us "where are my fish and chips?"a couple of minutes later cindys dad arived in his embasy car he took us all for a big meal and the next day I was in the newspaper a hero.
corrections :A mysterios person was coming up the stairs I quickly hid behind the old rusty crate.The squeaky door opened.
DeleteIt had only been half an hour ago.
Mum asked us
Somebody was coming up the creeky stairs like an ice berg cracking so I crowched behind an old, rusty crate and waited as long as I had to. The door squeaked open like a mouse squeaking. The torch flickerd on and the light beemed the darkness and the person who had the torch looked around the hidden places. My heart was thumping like a bass drum. The person didn't see me so he went away. I was terrified and went down the stairs.
ReplyDeleteIt had only been half an hour ago when my mum told me to go to the chipppe with a tenner. Just then as I was on the Stroud roundabout and saw an old house. I couldn't stop looking at it but I saw a girl and she was mouthing a word and the word was help. I rushed of to save her. She had only finished telling me that her name was Cindy and she was the American Ambassador’s daughter.
So there we were, balancing on the wall like walking on the plank. 5 minutes later we were back at mum's. '' So Ron where are the fish and chipes I told you to buy'' mum stared at Cind suspisiously. Half an hour, Cindy's dad arrived to take Cindy home.It was not just fish and chips for dinner, we got to go to the resturant to have a big meal. The next day I found the local newspaper and it said that there was a hero and the hero was Ron.
30 minutes ago mum sent me to the chippie, but I stopped to look at the old house. I saw a face mouthing 'Help!' I broke in through a window and went upstairs and found Cindy Breakwell, an American ambassador's daughter, just before the kidnappers came back.
ReplyDeleteCindy and I hid behind a crate because someone was coming up the stairs.The door opened and someone searched with a torch. The person then listened before going back downstairs.
We escaped through the window then went back to mums. Cindy's dad arrived in an embassy car and took us out for a meal. I was a HERO!
Zayn,
ReplyDeleteI hope this is not going to be bad but you forgot capital letters and full stops because it was all in one sentence. Well you have done one full stop but thats on the end. Have you forgoten them?
Mum had sent me to the chip shop. In the old house by the roundabout, I saw a girl and she shouted "Help". I did what she said and found a way in. The girl was called Cindy. She said her dad was the American ambassador and she had been kidnapped. The kidnappers came back and we hid behind an old crate. We escaped and went to my house. Then Cindy's dad took us to a restaurant. The next day I was in the newspaper and was a hero.
ReplyDeleteSomebody was silently creeping up the stairs, so I hid behind the antique crate. Suddenly, a flash of light brightened the room.Slowly the door closed.
ReplyDeleteIt had only been half an hour ago when mum send me down to the chippy with a tenner and strict orders no vinegar on her chips. Then I saw the old house which was ready to be demolished which is a shame because we played there for years.
Suddenly, something caught my eye a girl she was mouthing a word the word was "HELP!". So I went in she told me her name was Cindy Breakwell daughter of an American ambassador. So I found a way to get out. Through the widow down the pipe across the plank.
5 minutes later we found our selves at mums "So Ron where are the fish and chips". Eyeing Cindy suspiciously.
Half an hour later Cindy's dad came in an embassy car. That night it was not only chips and tea for dinner Cindy's dad took us all out to an Amazing meal. The next day I found self in the local paper a hero.
An unknown person creeped up the stairs. We hid behind the old crooked crate; we heard the creaking of the wooden floor boards. The stranger slipped into the room and a torch flashed on. I shuffled closer to the middle of the crate so there was a smaller chance of him finding us. The torched switched off - whoever it was stood still as solid rock. He waited for a while and sneaked away. I listened for any sign that he was still there trying to remember how I had got myself into such a mess.
ReplyDeleteHalf an hour ago mum had sent me to the fish and chip shop with a tenner and strict order for no vinegar on her chips. When I got to the Stroud Roundabout, I couldn't help gazing at the old house which was ready for demolition. That was a shame because we had played there for years! Just then I saw a strange girl mouthing a word and the word was 'HELP' I knew I had to help her, but how? After several attempts I finally managed to dangerously climb up the gutter and wiggle through a crack in the window.
It turned out that she was the daughter of the American Ambassador, Cindy Breakwell. I helped her to escape and then got out myself. Five minutes later we arrived at my house. "So, Ron, where's the fish and chips" asked Mum, staring at Cindy, her eyes full of questions. Half an hour later Cindy's Dad arrived in an expensive car. That night it wasn't just fish and chips for dinner. Cindy's Dad took us out for a huge meal! Miraculously, there I was in next day's newspaper...a hero!
The story is about a boy rescuing a girl.The girl's name is Cindy Breakwell and the boy's name was Ron.The story happened in a old damage house .Cindy was kidnapped by strange people.The girl was closed in a room in the old house.The boy found Cindy and they come out of the window, slide down on the roof and lowered down .They go to the Mum's house.Cindy's dad take them all to a big dinner.At the end the boy found himself in the local paper as a hero.
ReplyDeleteWhen mum sent me to the shop to buy some chips and fish I stop next to the round about because i saw in the window of the old house a girl which was mouthing for help. After few secend i was inside in the room with her. She told me her name is Cindy and she is a daughter of the american ambassador and she was kidnapped by someone. Five minutes later we run a way by balancing on the wall. when we came back to mum she asked where are my fish and chips. She looked on Cindy and ask who is she. I told her the story and after that Cindy's dad arrived by a car and took us for a big meal. The next day I was in the newspaper like a hero which saved a girl.
ReplyDeleteSomebody was coming up the stairs, suddenly the door opened and a torch splashed on, and whoever it was he stood quite still like a brick wall then he went down the stairs.
ReplyDeleteThen I was trying to think how I got into this mess. When mum sent me down to the chippie with a tenner with strict orders for no vinegar on her chips. Then I couldn’t help looking at the old house. Then I saw a girl I thought I was dreaming but I was not half an hour later I saw the girl tied up.
Then we climbed out of the window we climbed down the drainpipe and went home. Then mum asked were the chips were. Half an hour later Cindy’s Dad came in an embassy car. The next day I was a hero.
somebody was coming up stairs I hid behind a broken crate I waited I could feel my heart felt as if a bunch of bunnies bouncing all around the place and as if a chicken had vomited in my throat. I was thinking if we were caught ? I saw a
ReplyDeletegirl who glanced as I watched her. she was in trouble. The door opened and someone stride across the room. A torch flit on .
someone was creeping up the cracked stairs he opened the broken door and
ReplyDeleteand we hid behind the cricket crate suddenly a torch flickered on and
our heart beats like a drum also who ever it was stood quite still like a old statue
the after a minute he went back down stairs they sighed.
Mum had sent me to the chip shop but I had to pass the old creepy house, as I looked at the windows I saw a little girl . I ran to the back of the house and broke in and raced up the stairs to find her.She told me her name was Cindy Breakwell and that she had been kidnapped and her dad was the ambassador.,just then we heard voices coming up the stairs we both ran and got out through the window running all the way back to mums.Where she phoned Cindys dad the next day I was a hero in the local paper.
ReplyDeletestar I like how you used we heard voices
Deletestar and liked how you described the creepy house
wish if you could use more description.