Take a look at the picture below:
Can you describe this wintery setting? Write and post a descriptive passage using adjectives, adverbs and a range of language that will help to paint an image in the readers mind.
I have made a start on my own example, you can see it below. I'm sure you can do better though!
The bare trees stand alone, frozen by winter's icy touch. The footprints of strangers are etched into the blanket of fresh, white, crisp snow.
Remember, a passage is more than just one or two sentences.
The cold snowy trees stand straight and tall some mysterious footprints of unknown men ly firmly on ground the grey dull sky I a very dark it looks like later on theres going to be a very heavy dangouris snowstorm (snowfall) the trees are loosing there leaves and preparing for the coldest season of the year the freezing winter.
ReplyDeleteZayn, I like your post and I also have two stars and a wish.
DeleteStar- You have used lots of adjectives.
Star- I like that you have used some brackets.
Wish- Check your work and make sure it makes sence.
Prisha
The winter snow is on the lonely still tall trees the remains of mysterious footprints of lumberjacks lie firmly on the floor of Earths snowy grounds the dark grey dull sky makes it looks like the next snowfall (snowstorm) is going to be cold,heave and very dangorus the trees are loosing there leaves there preparing for the coldest season of the year the mighty winter.
ReplyDeleteWell done Zayn I like your description about the cold wintery tree.nice punctuation as well.
DeleteOn this picture it's nice and snowy, however it is well cold. It has footprints from strangers. The trees do not have any leaves because it's winter, the cold season.
ReplyDeleteSamantha,
DeleteI have 1 star
And 1 wish
My star us that you used however
My wish is that you could explain in a bit more description.
Samantha, can you find another way to describe how cold it is in this scene other than saying it is 'well cold'?
DeleteStars:
DeleteYou have used a connective (however).
I like that you have used adjectives.
Wish:
Try to explain a bit more about what you can see, and possibly what you can hear and feel.
Prisha
The winter snow is icy and has thick snow.All the trees are bare and stand alone.As strangers walk in the snow, they leave thick footprints behind.All the branches are covered with cold snow as well as the tree trunk.
ReplyDeleteI really like what you have started here. Can you take another look at your first sentence? It needs editing as you have commented on the snow twice.
DeleteStar- You used a connective.
ReplyDeleteWish-Use more description
The firm, hard ground is covered by smooth, comfortable, silky snow. As the time goes on, the silky snow gets removed from laying above the ground and in place are people (who nobody knows) footprints laying on the bed of the solid ground. As that was happening the trees lay silent, feeling rather mournful because they lost their leaves. The noise level was low, the only sound that was hardly heard were a few strangers walking. It is a really lonely place.
ReplyDeleteIf I was there I would have been freezing, very cheerless and rather very cold. Despite that I could have some fun, I would have felt so cold that I didn’t even try.
Winter has come and Christmas is coming which means that the tree leaves
ReplyDeleteof a tree starts falling and making them look old.
The leaves go until the next time comes in a different season for a new tree or the
same one to grow but that's not it of this mysterious winter season there is more .
Round the trees there are some scary looking foot steps that lead up to a horrifying
cave that is dark as the night-time sky with no light or warmness but only has the horrible noise of the wind like "whoosh"and some scary ghost noises like "ooo"
and gets loud every whoosh,but don`t stop now read on to find more about it.
The winter season has`t stopped yet because I have`t told you about the winter sky.The dark,grey and dark sky looks like the clouds have a whole sack of snow
that is going to cause a snow-storn
Stars:
DeleteI like that you have organised your passage into paragraphs.
You have used interesting words like horrible, horrifying and mysterious instead of boring words.
Wish:
The second paragraph is just one sentence so next time try to put some full-stops in as well.
Prisha
This is a monochromatic picture, and the tall, bare trees stand out against the background of dull, grey clouds, towering above the frozen white landscape. The picture has a peaceful but a bleak and chilly feel to it. Everything seems very quiet and eerie, and I can feel a sense of serenity in the whole atmosphere. The snow-covered, gnarled branches appear like the long and bony fingers of some mythical creature, reaching out to grab the sky, giving them a beautiful but sinister look. The snow stretches all the way from the foreground to the distant trees lining the horizon, covering everything like a never-ending, snug blanket. Fresh footprints of unknown humans or animals have set into the thick, soft, fresh, and otherwise pristine snow, almost in a triangular pattern. However, they will probably vanish with fresh snowfall, transforming the landscape into a wonderland full of undiscovered mysteries, like the magical land of Narnia that is covered in eternal snow. I wish I were here, fully dressed in my warm, woollen clothes, breaking the silence with the squeaking of snow under my winter boots during my Christmas holidays!
ReplyDeleteSuperb use of figurative language Ishaan. I particularly like how you have described the gnarled branches as long, bony fingers. This is an effective simile.
DeleteThank you very much, Miss Jolliffe.
DeleteIn this picture it looks really boring. However the trees look all boney and the leaves on the tree have all fallen of because it is the cold season and because the leaves could not survive in this cold weather.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you mean by boring Sufyaan? Remember to carefully consider how you can describe what you see in the image.
DeleteThis winter picture has lots of snow and the snow is leaning on the trees.
ReplyDeleteThe trees have no leaves on because it's the cold season.
This winter picture has lots of winter snow and the winter snow has foot prints.
ReplyDeleteThe trees has no leaves on because it's the cold season.
Wishes:
Delete.Try and use more adjectives
. Give more of how you feel , what you see , what you hear and try to say what you smell
Stars:
DeleteYou have started to think about what you can see.
You have included what time of year it is.
Wish:
Try not to say the same word (winter) again and again.
Prisha
The bare trees stand alone,bumping into each other. Footprints of strangers going past.
ReplyDeleteCan you develop this further? Add more detail about how the snow lays on the ground.
DeleteThe weather was pretty chill,foggy day, snow fainting to the ground, trees like fierce skeletons standing like soldiers ready on the grounds.
DeleteThe trees are separate and the stormy grey clouds are really big. All of the leaves have gone off because the wind has blown the leaves of the trees also there are cold small foot prints coming from the strangers or bears
ReplyDeleteThere are some little bushes at the end however the freezing snow is all over the the trees and it looks like a white carpet on the floor because its pale white with foot prints.
The snowy wintery snow is very white and beautiful. The foot prince look very mysterious because when I look at the foot prince inn the middle of it looks black and the freezing, cold and shivering ice is very cold.The big trees are very gigantic and grey.The leaves from the tree they have all gone , many of the leaves have fallen of the tree.There are some little bushes at the end, and the freezing snow is all over the trees and it looks like a carpet on the floor because its pale white with foot prince.
ReplyDeleteA plain, dull, black and white forest, frozen in winter time. Three gigantic bare trees are mysterious and still, and they make shadows in the snow. Deep, dark footprints create an enormous leaf pattern in the thick crisp snow. The grey cloudy sky is dreary and bleak. It makes me feel lonely and sad.
ReplyDeleteNathan, this is wonderful. I can get a real sense of the place without looking at the image. Your description is vivid and paints an image in my mind. Welldone.
DeleteSnowy Landscape
ReplyDeleteThis cold wintery picture has trees with no leaves because they fell of in autumn. There is a blanket of icy white snow that is ruined by all the large, black footprints. When I look at this picture I wonder who made the footprints and where they are going. Perhaps they are in a warm cottage just over the hill.
The tall trees stand straight up like spikes with their bare branches reaching into the cloudy sky. It looks like it will snow again soon.
Esme
The trees are black, the snow is white and the clouds are shades of grey. The bare and leafless trees look faded, against the dazzling white snow. Small animals have left footprints in the crisp white snow under the trees when scampering around looking for food.
ReplyDeleteThe icy cold snow is covering the nice green grass and with tall trees sparkling with glittering snow on it's bare branches. Matthew
ReplyDeleteThe icy cold snow is covering the nice green grass and with tall trees sparkling with glittering snow on its bare branches. The footprints in the snow make different patterns on the crisp white snow and leading different ways.
ReplyDeleteThe wintery meadow with the shining leaves that are ice cold, they also include mysterious footprints that lead out from the tree.
ReplyDeleteI can feel the thick snow as cold as ice,I can smell the fresh air in the dark grey sky, I can see bare trees with their branches drooping and I can hear birds tweeting with miserey
ReplyDeleteThe dull, grey and miserable clouds lie above the heads of the tall, bare trees, frozen by winter's cold snow. The black footprints of unknown strangers are etched into the layer of freezing snow, forming circles around the brown trees that stand in between them. There is a blanket of fresh, white snow covering everything that it can, but it still looks pretty, as if it was glitter sparkling in the warm Sun. Some people are walking in a few places with the howling wind blowing all around them and freezing snow falling lightly on them.
ReplyDeletePrisha
The pure white snow feels ice cold and the sky looks grayish black. It feels like a wintry cold night. It makes you feel like staying indoors having a toasty hot chocolate drink. The foot steps are deep because they were small. However big foot prints won't sink in. The trees are bare and leafless. The dazzling white snow looks chilly.
ReplyDeleteA blanket of snow has fallen from the big, grey, fluffy clouds. Hundreds of strangers footprints show beneath the closest trees that have lost every single leaf. it looks very cold and extremely lonely, not the sort of place I want to be.
ReplyDeleteThe branches are wishing swising.Also there are lots of strange footprints and under the footprints there is snow however the tree has no leaves because they fell down.Also if i went there i will freez and i will sink in the snow. Also the freezing snow fell frome the white,big,fluffy clouds.
ReplyDeleteIn this winter setting is very cold. On this picture is lots of trees witch are covered in snow. On the ground is many white snow and on the snow is lots of footprints,the sky is grey and cloudy.
ReplyDeleteIn this Winter setting is very cold. On this picture is lots of leafless trees witch are covered in snow. On the ground is many white snow and on the snow is lots of footprints, the sky is grey and cloudy.
ReplyDeleteThe trees sway in the icy air, a crisp white blanket of snow has muddy footprints who's is it maybe its The Grinch?
ReplyDeleteMiss Jolliffe I hope you like my descriptions!
ReplyDeleteIn the snow the are unknown traces.The trees are wrapped in a white blanket.
ReplyDeleteIn the snowi picture ther are many trees.
Im going to play in the snow and the snow is soft
ReplyDeleteCan i open my presents.
Everyone is playing in the snow
I can see lots of foot steps in the snow leading somewhere far away. And I think that the snow is very soft and slipary.
ReplyDeleteTo describe how it's cold, well it is freezing and shivering.
ReplyDelete